Let's Not Talk About the 70's
by greysfanhp
Summary: Alice can tolerate many things, but some are just too much. Post-Breaking Dawn, no Jacob or Nessie. One-shot.


Let's Not Talk About the 70's

**So hey all! This is a one-shot that came to mind after watching That 70's Show and I couldn't get the idea out of my mind, so here we go**.

_Rosalie POV_

It was a lazy Sunday, boring was an understatement. Emmett and Jasper played Mario Kart on the Wii while Bella and Edward lay peacefully in each others arms. Esme was talking with Alice about a fashion project they had in mind. As for me, I flicked without much interest the latest car magazine.

Maybe I should change the motor…

"Don't even think about it." Alice said completely out of the blue, not even bothering to look up from the computer screen.

"Seriously, Emmett it's not a good idea." Edward said quietly.

"Boy's, what are you talking about?" Esme asked worried.

"I'm just so bored of this game! I want to play Guitar Hero!" Emmett whined like a five year old.

"Baby, you're just upset you can't beat me!" Jasper said tauntingly, his southern accent flowing freely.

"I want to play that too." Bella said excited. I honestly could not see the point of playing pretend guitars - it was just so… useless.

"None of you are going to play Guitar Hero, not while I live in this house." Alice answered back menacingly.

"Why not?" Bella asked curiously.

"Let's just leave it at 'not', Bella. I'll explain in private." Edward said soothingly, but Bella was way too curious to let go.

"Yeah why not, Alice? We just bought the game and the songs are awesome!" Emmett said, again sounding like a toddler instead of an immortal vampire that had lived over a century.

"Because you might accidently hit a Beatles song," Alice started.

"No Beatles in this version." Emmett interrupted.

"Emmett, I think we should play something else." Jasper said trying to calm us all down.

"Or a The Who song; or Kiss or… _Areosmith_." She said completely ignoring the interruption.

"What's wrong with them?" Bella asked offended.

"Girls, Jasper is right. They _aren't_ going to play that game, right Emmet?" Esme said with all the authority in her voice.

"I just don't understand, what's wrong with those bands? They're awesome."

This was getting ridiculous.

"Alice hates been reminded about the 70's, even the 60's for that matter. Because, how to put it? She has an…" I thought mockingly for a moment. "An irrational hatred against the flower children."

"What, why?!" Bella asked incredulously.

"I do not have an irrational hatred, Rosalie." Alice snapped back at me. "It's completely justified."

"Now, now, Alice there's no need to get upset. The past is the past and we've got to let go." Esme said soothingly just as Jasper sent another wave of calm.

"No, Esme. I think we should sort this out, for once and for all." She said standing up.

"Great you big idiot, look what you've done now." Jasper muttered as he hit Emmett on the back of the head.

"Bella, the 60's and the _70's_," She mentioned the last with hatred reserved for serial killers. "Were one of the biggest mistakes in human history."

"Why? The music was great and the revolution of ideas that came as a result was unprecedented." Bella defended. Bad choice, she had a lot to learn about both history and Alice.

"Revolution of ideas?! Is that what you call their fashion?! And what about the French Revolution?!" She asked, on the edge of hyperventilating. Esme looked pointedly at Jasper but it seemed Alice was in full control of her emotions. "You weren't there Bella; you didn't see the atrocities those _people_ committed against style, the vests, the jeans and those John Lennon glasses!" She ranted on, walking from one end of the room to another.

"Well I enjoyed those two decades." I said nonchalant. Every head in the room turned to look at me, wide eyed with surprise. Jasper's face was now contorted trying to reign in the fury that was emanating like heat waves from Alice.

"Rose…" Esme warned me softly.

"What? Humans are naturally stupid, then add a whole new generation of drugs available to them and they become even more stupid. And that's not even considering the whole 'free love' mentality they had, they became a bunch of blithering idiots! It was a circus for twenty years." I said as I looked at my perfectly manicured nails.

"How dare you Rosalie Hale? You too suffered when you saw those bell trousers that reached your waist and the tucked vests they wore! And let me remind you your eyes also burned when they made contact with those horrific colours mixed like a bad Picasso replica!" Alice answered furiously.

"Rose, why do you do this every time?" Esme asked sighing.

"Esme, did Alice go to school those years?" Bella asked curiously.

"Of course not, silly!" I said, imitating Alice's soprano voice. "Get over it! You're over a century old, Alice."

"Yeah, I mean when I was in phoenix I basically worshiped the 70's and lived strictly like a hippie. Renee followed suit, she loved the whole peace and love thing." Bella said calmly, a hint of a smile pressing on the corners of her lips. She was lying of course but Alice easily fell for it.

"You what?!" She shrieked.

"Alice, calm down!" Esme yelled back. "What Bella's saying isn't true, right dear?"

I felt another ocean of calmness engulf me. Alice looked back up at Bella, but when she did Bella had already drawn a hippy symbol on her shirt with a permanent marker. I was impressed to say the least, everybody was. The room was paralyzed as Alice's fast immortal brain registered what had happened to her Calvin Klein blouse.

Nobody dared to move, only Edward slowly placed himself between Bella and Alice; so did Jasper.

"Come on Edward! We haven't had a cat fight since that time Tanya _accidently_ broke Rose's BMW's door." Emmett said clapping his hands in excitement. Before anybody could stop me I threw a vase at his head.

"That was so uncalled for!" He yelled at me.

"That was an antique!" Esme said just as angry.

"It was his fault!" I answered simply, pointing my finger accusingly.

This was all a distracter – Alice dodged Edward and dived for Bella dragging her like a wild cat to her Porsche.

"I'LL SHOW WHAT'S REAL FASHION YOU… HIPPIE!"

**So yeah… the effects of coffee at twelve p.m.** **For those wondering about my other stories fear not, I shall update as soon as I can get my imagination (Iron Man stole it XD)... LOL. **


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